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To understand yourself as you are now, you will need to understand how you got here. Your attitudes now are dependent on your experiences in the past. You will need to use your memory to recall those experiences which have had an effect on your life. Any traumatic experience is easily brought to mind. Other experiences, which may have had an effect without us realising it, may be buried deeply in the mind. Bringing these to mind needs a willingness to spend time. You need to be quiet and alone, so find a place where you can be free of all distraction.

Choose your time and place, and give yourself over to this. When you are settled, ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind an incident that you can think about and relive in your imagination. Try to see a picture. Assemble all the facts, the time, the place, the people, the words and the actions. Try now to recall your feelings, because this is very important. It is through our feelings that our lives are touched, that our experiences are registered, that our attitudes are established and affected. Do try to recapture the emotions that you felt at the time. Are you able to see now how that event influenced you? Did it cause you to change your attitude to a particular person or to people in general? Did it cause you to make a decision? Has it affected your behaviour in any way?

That was intended as a trial exercise. Gaining self-knowledge will take time, and it is an on-going process that we may never complete. Here now are some suggested meditations based on Scripture passages and prayer to reveal this part of our journey.

Always begin these sessions with a moment or two of prayer. Prayer in your own words is always best. Try to avoid repeating the words. This is unscriptural, and constant repetition tends to have an hypnotic effect. It is important to come to prayer and meditation with all our senses and faculties unclouded and alert. Also, in meditation, we do not have to try to empty our minds. This is impossible, it just opens the way for all kinds of irrelevant thoughts to come crowding in. Instead we concentrate our minds on a passage of God's word, and let the Holy Spirit take us deep into its meaning. Find your place of quietness, and be still. Now you can begin.

MEDITATION A 1

Here is a suggested prayer.
Lord, I want to seek your presence. I want to come before you just as I am, with no pretence; with nothing to hide and nothing to boast of. You know me; you know me better than anyone else, you know me better than I know myself. You know all that I am, and all that I have done. You know my triumphs and successes. You know my faults and failures. You have seen me in my moments of joy and in my times of sorrow. There is nothing you do not know about me. My whole life is open to you.

Bible Reading: Psalm 139
Read the psalm all through. Then take the verses 13 to 16 as the focus for your meditation.

(a) Think about your physical attributes, and how you are 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. Apart from gender differences, we are basically the same. However we have many minor differences, and these distinguish us from each other, for example, height, build, complexion, colour of hair and eyes. Have you at any time been dissatisfied with any of your physical characteristics, and wished they were different? Have you ever felt resentful because you thought you were plain, ugly, too fat or too thin, or because you had to wear spectacles or some other aid? Have you been able to get over your concern and self-consciousness? How far do you think our physical appearance really matters?

(b) Think now about your physical skills and abilities.
First your fitness, and the abilities to walk, run, climb, dance and swim. Then there are manual skills and dexterity, so that you can make and fashion things, or perhaps play a musical instrument. Is there any skill which you lack, which you wish you had and envy others who have? Have you got a talent that you have neglected? Have you taken your skills and abilities for granted? Are you proud and boastful of the things you can do? If you feel dissatisfied, can you still not appreciate the wonderful workings of your body, and take pleasure and fulfilment in the things you can do?

Before you end your time of meditation write down any insights you have received, otherwise you may forget them.